there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I love you. Go after that dick
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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