Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
