He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
