We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
