I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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