My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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