My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
