your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
