we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
