my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize