Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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