you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
