Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
