I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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