That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
