i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize