Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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