I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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