I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
