i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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