his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
