so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
