Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize