forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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