that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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