I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize