So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
