What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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