Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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