Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize