If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
