So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
