p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize