she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
