scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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