after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
