I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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