this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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