Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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