it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
