The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Randomize
