yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think I sprained my soul last night
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
