if i can run in heels then i can drive
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
