OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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