Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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