he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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