There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
