That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
