I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
