I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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