Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(270): View more from Kentucky

She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill

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(330): View more from Ohio

She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.

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(219): View more from Indiana

Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.

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(207): View more from Maine

I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.

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(906): View more from Michigan

Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts

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(626): View more from California

For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.

(818): View more from California

I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers

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