I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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