Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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