Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
