fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
