Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize