the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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