Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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