Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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