FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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