i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
